Welcome to the Journey of the Modern Feminine Mystic

I feel such tenderness and joy sharing my journey here, which is also the archetypal journey of so many women that I know and worked with. Some might even say it is the fabric of the feminine to be a mystic.

My journey started as a young girl, when I discovered that the place where I experienced true happiness, or maybe even ecstasy, was in the black vast expanse of space, among the stars, and later on, being the stars and the experiencing of the Absolute. You could also say that the reason I experienced this state was because I was disassociated, not being mirrored in the way I needed to when growing up, which made the young me craft a survival strategy of leaving the body. I find both to be true. There was a disassociation as a survival strategy, but there is also this joy of being in the expanse, and later of knowing myself as the expanse, that is true, pristine, and divinely beautiful.

So what has this to do with the feminine? For me my love for the feminine came much later, since I rejected myself as a woman (women were only focused on feelings, I was focused on the important stuff, like changing the world, and having big bold ideas with the power of entrepreneurship to make them happen), and even more of a disrespect of the feminine, which felt weak and insipid to me. Recognizing the power of the feminine, through sexuality, through the jewel (woman’s genitalia) and through Eros, was a game-changer for my perception. I discovered that a wild Goddess, like Kali, could be fun and flirtatious too. That both and were possible for the feminine, displacing the ancient, so deeply toxic and inherited split between the Madonna and Whore-archetype or the soft yielding feminine with the powerful and flirtatious one. Another way of seeing the world, or even the creation of the Universe itself, is as the interplay of the primordial dance between the poles of Shakti, the creatrix of the world, life, Eros itself and the stillness and awareness of Shiva. The holy dance between the feminine and the masculine, of life-force and that which can hold the life-force. As my heart has gotten more open and is slowly moving into a leadership position, all aspects of me are becoming more unified, together with the wisdom of growing older, which is where you find me today. Together with all my identified aspects, which are equally present; meet Ms grumpy, Ms jealous, Ms collapse, Ms Fearful, Ms depression, Ms Shy, Ms Lonely and Madame grandiose.

In this blog, I’ll share my own journey of daring to speak more openly of my experiences, a coming-out I’ve been dabbling with for the past 20 years, or actually, all my life - the journey of the modern feminine mystic - which is at the very core, Eros, herself. Which is another word for the extraordinary life-creating abilities of women. Join me for a sometimes bumpy, sometimes juicy, and as real ride as I dare to share.